Isn't It...

Isn't it so true
That being in love
Will make you do some pretty crazy stuff

Isn't it interesting
How you can genuinely miss someone
That you've only physically met once or twice

Isn't it weird
How you can love someone sooo much
Until they become your Ex, then you can't stand them

Isn't it disapointing
That you can truly love someone with all of your might
But they not feel the same way about you

Isn't it heart-gripping
To see your boo
In pain

Isn't it funny
That you'll wait all day for your boo to call
Just so you can sit on the phone and breathe

Isn't it awesome
To know that somewhere out there
Someone loves you too

Isn't it rewarding
To finally find that person
That you've been searching for - for so long

Isn't it exciting
To turn on your cell phone and see
13 "i miss u" messages sitting in your inbox

Isn't it relaxing
When you're laying on the couch
And your boo gently strokes your hair

Isn't it refreshing
When your boo hugs you really tight
And put's their head in your chest

Isn't it dynamic
To know that your boo Love Jesus
Just as much as you do

Isn't it time
To stop writting this poem
And send someone a text message

I Don't Believe This!

Okay, so here's the deal.
Last year I upgraded my cell phone to the SideKick II $400.
(pic at the right ------>)
I loved it. It was fast and friendly and allowed me to do away with the normal cell phone "usability" feature called "T-9" texting....Hallelujah! I did have a few problems though. First off, it's rather large and clunky. Truthfully I felt like I was holding a piece of Toast up to me ear everytime I went to talk. There is not Bluetooth in the SideKick II (there is in III though). And the past couple of months I noticed that my keyboard was literally coming up, almost like it needed to be superglued back down.


So me and my fabulous wisdom decided to do another upgrade in June. This time I decided it was time to go professional. The SideKick II was tight but it was more-or-less a toy to play with. Now, as much as I DISLIKE Micro$oft Window$ I decided to go with T-Mobile's MDA $500.
(<----- pic at the left) It offered me the entire office suite (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and Outlook). More importantly, as a software programmer/computer enthusiast, it would allow me to install my own software on it (like programs I write or great free bible programs like E-Sword).

I Should've Known......
....that it was going to be a disaster.

• When I went to transfer my numbers over from my SideKick II, I lost almost everything.
• The MDA doesn't work with Mac OS X 10.4 (Tiger) uuuurrrrrrgggghhhh. So yeah, it's basically worthless to me. Everything has to be done on a PC unless you buy a mini SD card like I did and transfer your info over like that.
• It's Sooooooooooo s....l.....o.....w! It's takes forever for it to boot up.
• I lose reception more than I have reception.
• ....and the list goes on.

The Problem At Hand
Well, after the long hard fight and struggle to get my contacts copied over, get my settings set just right, purchased the "BlueSpoon" Bluetooth ear piece, etc.....
Last night I pull up at my church for Revival service....
My brother gets out the car.....
I get out the car and head to the back driver-seat door.......
My brother's friend opens the back driver-seat door......
The car door slams right into me sending everything in my hand flying......
I remember grabbing (from the air) what I thought was my phone......
I remember watching my keys fall to the ground....
BUT......
We all soon realized that it was my keys that I had grabbed from the air.....
And it was my phone that was now laying damaged on the pavement.......
AAAAAARRRGGGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHh!!!!.........

So, I picked it up only to realize that it was severely damaged. The screen is now a white fuzzy haze color. Almost like the contrast has been jacked all of the way up to it's highest level BUT there is no contrast setting on that phone (only brightness). The phone is severally overheating! The battery is on like a constant drain. When I have it fully charged and then unplug it, it only last for maybe 20-25 mins before the low battery warning starts alerting me.
WORST OF ALL, when I called T-Mobile today the notified me that I DID NOT get the insurance on the phone and it will cost me either the full $500 to get a new one or, $100 to get it fixed..................
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

Why I Love My Mac

A picture/flash file is worth 1,000 words.
Look how pathetically annoying it is to navigate/operate this
Windows PC.

Click Here To See The Full Version

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I on the other hand I've traded in my sorrows and my shame for the Joy of the Lord (and My Mac) Currently I own two Macs; The Powerbook, and the Mac Mini. I have so many names for my apple products: Apple Juice, Apple Sauce, Big Mac, Mac Truck, Mac Attack.

At my job the Graphics Department nicknamed me: Mac Daddy! So in addition to loving Jesus, I love my Macs. Thankfully, I don't have all of the problems that I had with my PC. Everything works seamlessly together. Best of all it looks so sleek and sexy....Oops, did I say sexy??? I definitely recommend that you get you one IMMEDIATELY!

10,001 Tongues

Geeeez yall, God is just soooo AWESOME!!!!
I know that according to the bible, If I had 10,000 tongues I couldn't praise him enough.

Man, I wish I had 10,001 tongues just so I could try a little harder. (Obviously I would still be unsuccessful).......but just the thought of knowing that there is more that I could give him. I would probably need 10,001 throats too b/c this 'ol one I got now goes hoarse after a pro-longed shout. I tell ya, after I shout unto God with the voice of triumph a few times, I go to open my mouth again - but no sound comes out...hahahha. I wouldn't need a bigger brain though, 'cause this one I got now is capable of landing 65 Jumbo-Jets simultaneously all across the world in different time zones.....sike, However, I would need 10,001 lungs though. It takes a lot of air to give a Ruwa praise. With 10,001 tongues, can you just imagine all of that drool!! Lord help me if I start speaking in an unkown tongue...... I'll definitely need like 105 blankets to soak all of that up.

Just think how awesome of a chord I could sing.
3,333 tongues singing Soprano!
3,333 tongues singing Alto!
3,333 tongues singing Tenor!
and 1 faithful tongues Leading the Worship!

I'm making light of the situation but honestly, It's kind of crushing to know that I will never be able to thank him enough. It would seriously take me the rest of my entire life just to thank him for these few little minutes that I sat down to write this.

I'm in Love with Jesus!
God I love you so much, because you first loved me.

Your Boo,
~J
xxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

This Friday Morning's Thoughts

Where Oh Where Has My Butta Gone?

Bro Jay's Dictionary

butta
n. butta,butta(s)

1. The vertical butter-shaped bars on a cell phone screen that indicate the strength of your current reception.

So recently I just upgraded from the Danger SideKick II to the T-Mobile MDA. That was mistake number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10! The only reason I did the upgrade was because I knew that since the MDA is running Windows Mobile 5.0 (YUCK) I'd be able to install my own software, unlike the force-feeding tyrantical methodology of the SideKick. Long story short, I have practically lost all my bars of butta. Instantly when I pull up in my neighborhood all my butta disappears. And I can forget trying to make a call from inside of my bedroom. This morning it took me like 25 mins (plus two soft resets) to finally get a signal..... Very rarely did I have signal problems with my SideKick. To make matters worse, my mother purchased the exact same phone and when I go over her house, and stand right next to her (with her phone) she'll have a signal and I won't. Worse of all, it's not natively compatible with my Mac (thanks a lot Bill Gates)...................... What should I do?

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I Can't Believe I Made It To The Gas Station!

So I reset my cell phone (for the second time in hopes to regain my butta) and I'm listening to Pastor Greg Laurie preach on station 780 AM about Saul --> Paul, and then it hits me.....right in the eye. It was a light soooooo brilliant, so bright, so glowing, so gleaming..... It was the little orange gas station icon - fully lit on my dashboard. I didn't even know it could get so bright!
Well I had already started my journey to work taking country-backroads through farm land, hills, and cow terrain. So now I'm presented with some options. I had some things to think about and some decisions to make.

• I knew for sure that it would be another 40+ minutes before I could get to a gas station
• I didn't want to turn back towards the gas station by my house
• I have AAA, so I could just call WHEN (not if) I run out
• But I don't have any butta
• Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Well I decided to just press my way to work on 'E'. I turned Pastor Greg up and started praising God. During part of the trip, I noticed the needle rise.....but I slowly realized that it was b/c of the hill that I was on. Soon the low gas warning beeps started going off. Although it technically isn't that loud, today it pierced my ear drum like the fire alarm at school used to. By the time the second gas drill alarm sounded, I was clenching the steering wheel wondering why everyone in front of me was only going the speed limit.....hahahaha. Well I finally got back my butta, so I calmly resumed to a comfortable 'lean' position in my seat, started breathing normally and said, "well if I break down Lord that just means more time for me and you!". After that grueling 40 minutes of uncertaincy I spotted a Chevron off in the distance. Believe me when I say this... I was on 'E' the entire time. I think the Angels where pushing my car for me. Thank God, I made it to the gas station!

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Waiting On....

Waiting on a call.....
I can't wait to talk to them.......
Lemme wait by the phone........
b/c their probably gonna call any minute now......
hmmm, that's strange........
I wonder what's taking them so long......
I wonder what time they're gonna call...........
are they even gonna call at all?.....
will I even talk to them again?.......
do they not wanna talk to me again?..........
was it something I said........
something I did?........
what was it?.......
hmmmmm......
what was it that I was Waiting On again?

Lord Give Me A Glimpse

So I have a pretty good idea of what God ultimately wants me to do in life but I'm wondering, "How in the world I am gonna get there????" I just wish he would give me a glimpse, just a little sneak preview of the coming attraction.

A few years ago he showed me something while I was deep in worship. At that time I was still living in Columbus Ohio going to New Birth Christian Ministries. This was the year that Worship was truly revealed to me. Even though I was sitting in a class at church talking about true worship, I soon realized that true Worship is something that is not taught but revealed. (I think the name of the class was: "Worship, More Than A Slow Song")........ Anyway, this particular day was awesome. As our class on worship was ending that day, everyone in the room immediately (almost naturally) went straight into worship.

(I know this post isn't about worship, but I just felt something stir up inside of me right there! Glory, Glory, Glory!)

......... As I began to worship God with my eyes closed I could see bright lights ascending and descending right through the crack of the corner of the ceiling. Directly behind me was a wall which had a hallway directly on the other side of it. As I turned leftward toward the wall (with my eyes closed) I began to see something as clear as if I would've had my eyes open. What I saw was not the hallway right out side of the room, but rather a completely different building/facility. It was so clear, so real.....the lighting was even different from the glory-filled room that I was in. It's been a while, but what I saw was some sort of church facility or something. I remember seeing a hall right outside of these big double-doors. Looking straight in through the double-doors, there was some sort of sanctuary/auditorium. Inside of it I saw a stage and fold up chairs below the stage. I mean there was soooooooo many chairs. As far as my eye could see I saw chairs upon chairs upon chairs that just seemed to fade out and disappear in the distance. BOY WAS I SHOCKED. I couldn't even believe what my eyes were seeing, but it wasn't my natural eyes! Apart of me got a little frightened so I turned back toward the room with the angles and I couldn't see anything except an extremely bright light. So I turned once more to face the wall and there it was again...with my eyes closed.....crystal clear right in front of me. I sat there and pondered on whether I should walk into the place that I was seeing in the spirit realm, but I was scarrrrrrred! hahahaha. So, that was that!

Oh how I want another peak,
Lord Give Me A Glimpse.....
but this time,
I'm gonna go in and walk around.

The Evil of the "Right" thing is a "Good" thing

A friend of mine posted a wonderful entry in her online journal called The evil of the "right" thing, is a "good" thing... (near the bottom of her, "It's a whole HEAP" entry) I thought it was too good , and too true not to share. Here it goes in it's entirety and context.

My line sister's father shared this with me... "The evil of the "right" thing, is a good thing." Think about it.....still thinking...okay read it again...."The evil of the right thing, is a good thing." Okay, here's the explanation: What's one thing that can keep you from the "right" thing? Answer: A good thing. Although you may have a job where you receive benefits galore, your checks could be huge, the work environment could be marvelous, but, deep down inside you know it's not for you...but the fact that its so good keeps you from the right thing....after all why would you get rid of a "good thing." Here's another example: You could be with someone who treats you like a Queen or King. I mean they're wining and dining you. They look good, dress nice, speak well...the whole nine. BUT, it's a "good thing"...not necessarily the "right thing" Or the right one for you. Ultimately, a "good thing" can have you so caught up and/or distracted that it keeps you from the "right" thing. After all, there is a way that "seemeth" right, but the end there of is ______.... (<- it's a scripture, chk it out) You get it? lol

Wow, now that is extremely profound and true. That paragraph actually summed up a great portion of my latter years in life. Somehow I always found myself chasing what I thought was my "Right Thing" only to end up right back where I started. I've wasted time, and exhausted precious energy trying to MAKE it work. Seriously though, I can't even blame God (not like I could anyway)....well maybe a better sentence is: I can't blame anyone except myself for some of the stuff because deep down inside I knew it was only a Good Thing, but boy was I determined to make it my Right Thing.

Can you imagine how much time we've all wasted chasing after the "Good" thing. WOW.

Made In The Valley

Do you know what I'm beginning to realize, (the longer I serve Christ and the more I strive to become like him)..... that "Christians are Made In The Valley". Well what in the world am I talking about??? I'll tell ya!
When I speak about the Valley experience, I'm speaking about it in terms of it's direct opposite being a Mountain-Top experience. They Valley in a Christian's life more or less reflects a valley in real life. It's usually those times in our life where we feel low, cold, pressured, alone, hopeless, like all hell is breaking loose, like there's no way up, with a "I'll never get out of this" type of attitude. When we're on the mountain, however, then we feel like we're flying, soaring, untouchable, victorious, champions, etc.

Most people would rather avoid valley experiences and head straight for the mountain. But it's on the mountain-top that we must be very careful, b/c when you're that high up......it's a long way to fall down. As Christians we are made, shaped, and molded in the valley. It's when our character is perfected, it's when our faith increases....why?.....b/c we are forced to rely and fully trust on God. In the valley is where miracles take place and where we get our testimonies from. Think about this, had Moses and the Children of Israel not been in the valley they would've never seen the miracle of God parting the sea. The mountain is so far above sea-level that a parting of the sea wouldn't have mattered to them then. According to Psalm 23:4-5 it's in the valley that God is with us, he protects us, he comforts us, and if that wasn't enough - he prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. I thank God for those verses b/c in the valley it's quite easy to forget that what's working in us is greater than what's working against us. And sometimes we really fear the evil and the darkness that has surrounded us. But praise be unto God verse 4 tells us that it's just a shadow of death, and the last time I checked......a shadow can't harm you! When you look at how the life and ministry of David started (1 Samuel) he wasn't initially on the mountain top, you see him constantly in the valley. This brother was always on the run, ducking and dogging spears from King Saul. But through it all he saw God's hand of protection on his life and ultimately, his character was built and his relationship with God developed and strengthened even more.

Just like the oil flows from an olive only when it's pressed, squashed, smashed, compressed, and squeezed - so too does the anointing flow from our lives when we are smashed, and pressed. So the next time we get ready to complain about being in the valley we just need to remember that God is making us! He's building our character, and adding some testimonies to our resume!

God Bless You,
~J

Video Footage From My First Sermon

"The Seven Last Words"
Father Forgive Them For They Know Not What They Do


Please be patient...video may take a few seconds to load.

• Location: New Birth Christian Ministries - Columbus, OH

• Date: Wednesday April 7th, 2004

• Description: This was the first sermon that I ever preached in my entire life. It was the first time I took the mic and stood before and auidience that was eager to hear from the Lord. It was the first time that I felt like I was truly walking in my calling. It was also the first time that I was ever that nervous.
  
  
  
  This is the beginning of many things to come.
  Enjoy!

My Morning Glory Starts @ 5am - Day # 2

Proverbs 14:12 - "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man but the end thereof are the ways of death."

How Did This Start?
Morning Glory @ 5am is something that has been burning on my heart to do for the past few months now. However, it seemed no matter how hard I tried to get up in the morning I just couldn't. I soon found myself oversleeping my normal time to get up for work. I was like 'Lord, this is crazy. I feel the desire to rise early in the morning and seek you.....please give me the strength to do so.'
Yesterday I finally got up. It was a rough start (I must admit) but around 5:30, I was on my knees in prayer. Delirious, crust in my eye, tart breath and all - but inside of me was such an overwhelming joy. This joy carried me through the entire day. Praise Jehovah My Strength!

Today's Prayer
This was my personal prayer to the Lord this morning....I don't know why but it was placed upon my heart to share (and I know that obedience is better than sacrafice)

"Lord give me, place in me; the burn, zeal, fire, passion, urgency, and power to become a Great TRUE Gospel Evangelist. Not in terms of having a big crusade with multi-millions of people, but in winning souls for Christ. Meeting people at their point of repentance, to see them accept Christ and embrace his unselfish love. The Bible says, 'He that winneth souls is wise' (Prov 11:30b). Lord I want to be wise. Give me the ability to be cunning, crafty, quick, and tactful in my approach, and in my delivery. NEVER compromising, using trickery, or deception....for clearly those are the marks of the evil one. May I be like Daniel. The Bible says that Daniel had an excellent spirit (Dan 6:3) and when the time came to persecute him, the people could find no fault in him (Dan 6:4) EXCEPT that he prayed three times a day.
Amen."

Now for those of you who really know me you know that deep deep deep deep way deep down inside I'm always nerveous. Nerveous and scared to talk to people, or get up in front of people. After I got finished praying that prayer this morning I was like 'ut-oh' what in the world have I done...hahaha. But I was quickly reminded that God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7). So Lord I need your power!

Where Do I Start?

Where in the world do I start this thing???? Geeeeez with all of the tutorials on setting up your blog I didn't see one concerning the brilliance of writing your first blog......let me see;

I wanna give a shot-out to my man......hmmmm, nah. How about,
Once upon a time there was a prince named Jay Are.......hmmmm, definitely not! How about,
First, Giving honor to God who is the head of......hmmm, maybe.


Or maybe I should just go ahead and jump right in this thang!

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First off, I love God with everything that is within me! Jesus is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me!!!

I am convinced that, eventually, true worship will "cost" you something. It will cost you your dignity or your self-respect or some other thing you cherish - usually in the sight of others. My suspicion is that we cloak our pride or embarrassment in the kind of words I've heard since I was a child: "It doesn't take all of that to please God." But David was different. His attitude seemed to be: "whatever it takes."

(Worship, The Pattern of Things In Heaven)

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To the one who got me started with this: Giselle (http://GisNik.blogspot.com)
You came into my life about 5 or 6 years ago and you've proved to be a constant friend. Even though we've had our moments of
ultimate 'weirdness', we've always seemed to pull it together in the end. You've had my back during good times and bad. God has truly annointed you to stand in the Levitical Preisthood as you go before his throne in Worship. He's placed in you so much more than you probably even realize. And, I'm so excited to see God's plan for your life unfold.
~God Bless Ya'!