Take Me Back

I hate the cold...
Someone please take me back!

JayBaby I Miss You

A Shift

Dictionary.com

Shift
v. shift (used with object)

1. to transfer from one place, position, person, etc.

v. shift (used without object)

1. to move from one place, position, direction, etc., to another.

A shift, a shift, a shift, a shift..........

This is what God has been speaking to me for over a month now. As crazy as it sounds, at the time he spoke it to me, I had no idea exactly what it meant or what it involved. All I knew was that God said: a Shift was about to occur in my life... and that it was coming, and it was coming quick. He said that the shift would result in almost like an explosive advancement in the level of my ministry and spiritual growth. That it would be mind blowing, awesome, explosive, exciting, amazing....... ahhhhhhhhhh yes. He told me that it would be great for me (a good thing) and that it would be happening very very very soon. My Pastor Dad even confirmed the same feeling for what God was about to do in my life, by sharing with me that God has been informing him that something great about to happen in my life. It was kind of weird explaining it to him because the only word I could use to explain it all was the same word that I had been hearing in my inner man..... Shift......Shift......Shift.

God has been revealing more and more of the plan and showing me more and more snapshots through dreams, and through visions. Listen when I tell ya, if it's anything like he's been showing me then....WHEEEEEEEEEW!!! It's truly gonna be amazing to watch it all unfold. Lately I've been trying to prepare myself for such an amazing explosion, and I'm sooooooooooooo extremely excited.

~ Buckle up ~ It's time to Shift!

 

Wheeew

Talk about hard, wheeew
it's tougher than you know,
Upset that I won't stay
but God is telling me to Go.

The way it's working out, wheeew
I pray you'll clearly see,
That I'm not leaving you
rather, God is sending me.

I am more than excited, wheeew
but this sadness still remains,
The way we all once knew it
Is quickly 'bout to change.

And so I shed my tear, wheeew
tonight I feel so blue,
But now I stand strong (with the mind)
to do what he's calling me to do!

Clarity - Day 7

Today's scripture is:

Psalm 136:1 - "Oh give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever."

Clarity - Day 6

Today's scripture is:

Ephesians 6:11-12 - "(11)Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. (12) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Reaching For The Sky

Quite willing yet reluctant
don't wanna move again in vain,
Where terror of the past attempts
have left a horrid stain.
But clever words of beauty
when sincere, there is no lie,
And so I'm here yet again
reaching for the sky.

Release me Lord release me
don't let me miss my date,
Because of my ambivalence to
eradicate the weight.
But deep squeezes of warmth
go beyond you being shy,
And so I'm embracing yet again
reaching for the sky.

Settled for the lie
that I'd probably never see this day,
The brightness of the glow had come
and suddenly slipped away.
But WiFi intercession prayers
were lifted up on high,
And so I'm stretching yet again
reaching for the sky.

Confused, bewildered, I think to much
everything is getting chomped,
Subconsciously it's an effort to keep
my heart from being stomped.
But the sweetest sight is JayAvalon
when her distance becomes so nigh,
And so I'm riding shotgun yet again
reaching for the sky.

Let go of the hurt
let go of the fear,
Let go of the suicide
let go 'cuz you're still here!!

Let go of disappointment
Let go of gripping doubt,
Let go of the "well what if this?"
Let go and start to shout!

Embrace the new warmth
embrace what's from above,
Embrace the say butta
babydove coconut love!

Embrace the change in season
embrace the coming shift,
Embrace it with a Ruwa praise
to heavenward we lift.

Through all the strain and struggle
the press the heat the flang,
2006 is rolling out
and ending with a bang!

But the juiciest is JayBabyBack
who leaves me speechless and high,
When she speaks,
it's like "my oh my"
Can't say a word,
so I don't even try
Thinks the Jay
prefix is fly
It's God,
JayYou & JayI
Smothered in secret sauce
on rye
Not manufactured
ain't something you can buy

But your definite assurity
has really caught my eye,
And so I'm falling yet again
reaching for the sky.

Clarity - Day 5

Today's scripture is:

Psalm 138:8a - "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me."

Clarity - Day 4

Today's scripture is:

Psalm 51:6 - "Behold, thou desireth truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make him to know wisdom."

Clarity - Day 3

Today's scripture is:

Mark 10:27 - "And Jesus looking upon them saith, with men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible."

Clarity - Day 2

Today's scripture is:

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path".

Clarity - Day 1

Today's scripture is:

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to them who are the called according to his purpose".

I CAN EAT!!!!

It's been an entire week
But tonight
I can finally swallow!!
Mac & Cheese
Meatballs
Fried Chicken
Green Beans
Cream of Wheat
Candy Canes
{ - SKITTLES! - }
~ Indulge ~
~Indulge ~
~ Indulge ~
owwwwww
I feel sick!
hahahahahaha


To God Be The Glory
Forever & Ever!

The 411

Below is the "abbreviated" 411 on my Thanksgiving Holiday.
I'll attempt to make this short and sweet.

[WEDNESDAY]
As I was driving home from a Thanksgiving Eve service (Wed night) that my Dad preached at, I started having trouble breathing and swallowing the juicies of saliva from the cookies and the pepamint that I was chomping on. This feeling got greater and greater and worse and worse all the way to the point where I could no longer swallow my own spit. You can imagine how scared I was. I thought I was having a panic attack or something....... After pulling off the interstate onto the shoulder a few times to gag up my spit that I was choking on, I decided to rush myself to the hospital..... Long story short, I had an upper GI done (where they stick the camera tube down my throat). After I woke up, not much was said, the doctors just sent me home.

[THURSDAY]
So, thinking everything was fine, I sat down at Thanksgiving and made a huge plate of food. The first bite of food that I had just sat in the back of my throat, covering my air pipe. Naturally, I choked (almost to death). Persistant to eat, thinking the doctors had fixed me, I attempted to eat some mash potatoes...... same thing... choking... choking... choking. Highly upset, I went upstairs and went to sleep. Still no food in my body yet. :(

[FRIDAY]
I still haven't eaten yet.....
Pain, Pain, Pain.... it felt like someone was sitting on my chest... I still couldn't swallow, and it felt extremely difficult to breathe. So I went back to the hospital, that was at 4pm. Because of the holiday, the hospital was jammed packed!! There were heart patients that were forced to lay in beds that sat outside in the hallways because of the lack of staff....... 9pm FINALLY I see someone, however this doc seemed to be either possesed with the devil or he was just upset that he had to work during the holidays. After he came in my room, and I explained to him the situation about how I had just been in here a few hours ago and I still can't swallow, he turns to me and says... "Well, what do you want me to do about it."... and then he walks out.... AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHhhh. Well I was kinda hoping that he could fix me and tell me what was wrong, ya know...geeeeeez. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry too. I still hadn't eaten since Wednesday. Well he called the first doc that did the procedure on me Wed night and got my test results back. Come to find out, I have a rare disorder called Eosinophilic Esophagitis...... Great, some answers. Unfortunately he didn't know how long I would suffer. Prescibing medicine was a hassle too because I couldn't swallow. ARRRGGGHHHh. Well, back home to go to sleep.

[SATURDAY]
Still no food.... now I'm drinking Ensure, and water... at least that can go down. Pain, Pain, Pain,..... it hurt so bad. And now that I figured out my throat problem, I had time to concentrate on my left wrist (which had been causing me crying like pain also for over a week). I laid in bed all day talking to JayBabe. And when she wasn't listening... I would cry because of the pain. My throat, my chest, not enough air, my wrist.... WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!
Still no food :(

[SUNDAY MORNING]
I was in sooooooooooooo much pain that I couldn't get out of bed. Everyone had left for church and I was still laying there... Pain, Pain, Pain, Hunger, Hunger, Hunger.... Still no real food since Wednesday @ lunch when I had a Chipotle Buritto. (Oh how I miss that burritto right now). Finally around 11am I woke up and realized that I DID NOT want to miss church (no matter how bad I felt). So I sped down the interstate, feeling the centrifical force of the motion on my chest the entire way. I almost pulled over and called 911... it felt like a heart attack (or what I imagine one would feel like) but I knew if I could just get to church and touch the hem of his garment... hey hey~ ^^^^^^^. I arrived around noon and Pastor Dad had already started preaching. As the usher walked me to the front row my dad finally looked up and saw me coming. He then paused his sermon and began to praise God. In fact the entire church started praising God for my return. Pastor Mom looked like she was about to cry. Of course after service, the saints prayed for me...... Thank You!!
Once I got home from church, the pain in my wrist had now become unbareable. So I rushed myself to the Emergency Care Center. Guess what.... not only do I have Eosniphillic Eosphagitis, but I also have Tendonitis in my left wrist... ARRRGGGHhh... so they wrapped it up in a splint, and once again the doctors had trouble giving me medicine because I still could NOT swallow. I'm sooooooooo hungry :(

[SUNDAY NIGHT]
With the Eosniphillic Eosphagitis and the Tendonitis bothering me, I knelt down by my bed to read my word and to pray. I was soooo baffled by all of this affliction that I needed some clarity from God. As I knelt there praying, I fell asleep from the wrist pain medication that I had taken. When I woke up, I felt the pressence of God in my room in such a special way.... slightly different and heavier than I have been feeling it lately. Then God directed me to some scriptures... he directed me to some blog posts that I had wrote a while back...... then he directed me {HERE --> "Javelins, Spears, & Daggers"} WHAT A REVELATION. I had totally forgot about this post and the vision in it. (Please read the first half of it to see what I'm talking about).

Here is what God showed me:
Everything happening now is just the fulfilment of that vision that he gave me months ago.
In the vision (although I never said it in the blog post) I was at New Birth Christian Ministries in Columbus, OH....... Well that weekend of my brother's wedding, Pastor Moore asked me to preach {"Now Unto Him"} at his 11:30 service..... I had no idea, nor had I prepared myself for it.......... anyway, long story short, God showed me that this sudden affliction on my body was the manifestation of the ambushment of spears that the demons launched at me in the vision.
I can't even begin to tell you how pumped and excited I was. Why, because after I had that vision a few months ago, I asked God like why! Is that really gonna happen. And he told me, "You will go through this, you will have to endure this, but don't worry, I am with you, and I will be with you!" So now I know that I'm not just going crazy in my body, but that the enemy is super mad and he's throwing his best shots just like he did at Job.

So Sunday night I said, "Lord, I really hope the enemy doesn't think that he can throw body aliments and afflictions my way in an effort to make me deny you and curse you, because that's just not going to happen!----- what a looser! If my left hand doesn't work, then I'll just praise you by patting my right hand on my thigh!!! FOR REAL!"
Hallelujah, I'm rejoicing, and I'm pumped. Oh what a joy it is to suffer for righteousness sake! Oh what a sweet joy.

Trust me...... the pain has been unbearable, but God promised not to put more on us than we can bare. I still haven't eaten, and my arm hurts, but I'm excited because God said that he's still with me, and he knows exactly what's going on. In fact, he showed me about it, months ago!

To God Be The Glory
Forever & Ever!

PAUSED

My writings have been paused
because it hurts to write
I'll explain why
When I'm able to write
again.

In the meantime
God's Favor
and Peace
rest upon
you.

Gay Spanked Out

Apparently this guy's mother
tried to spank the gay out of him,
but she left the demons in!
haha, see for yourself.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/10/gay-spanked-out.html

Contentment in Singlehood

Well... truth is, for much of my life I have not been content. Being content wasn't even a valid thought that crossed my mind. In fact telling someone like me, (who desired so badly to be married), to find contentment in my singleness was like the world's most obvious oxymoron. Almost like "Duh, why on earth would I do that!". And so when a certain church activity or group of people called for my contentment, I would only appear that way to please them and to past the time. But as we all know, it's not always what's visible on the outside, but also that hidden thing working on the inside of a person too. Even when it didn't appear like I was on the hunt for my wife, deep deep down inside I was uneasy, my dreams - tormented, my thoughts - restless, my feelings - unsatisfied, and my heart - bitter. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God didn't called me to be single forever, but in fact he called me to find a baby-back rib, be fruitful and multiply, and live happily ever after (hehehe)..... sooooooo then... WHY. Why the wait, why the hurt, why the delay, why the games, why the disappointment, why isn't she here, why can't I find her, and why is my little brother (who for the majority of his life could care-less about finding a relationship) getting married before me!! WHY... WHY.... WHY????

Does that sound cRaZy! Do I sound cRaZy? or, can you relate?
So, through out the entire preparation of my brother's wedding, God began to speak to me and deal with me intensely about this very subject. He burned scriptures like [1 Tim 6:6 - "But godliness with contentment is great gain."] into my heart. He etched other scriptures like [Phil 4:11 - "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."] into the very fabric of my subconscious thoughts.

Suddenly, it all started to make sense. The light bulb had went off. It became so plain. And so lately I have worked on becoming content with the way God has everything lined up and mapped out in my life. I have accepted the fact that for this season, I am single. And I have chosen to fall in love with him, and to be content with him, and him alone.
I have found Contentment in Singlehood! and contentment has found me :)

My Brother's Wedding Pictures

My Brother's Wedding Pictures......
... are finally online!!!

View them all!
http://s74.photobucket.com/albums/i274/Ube82/

My Brother's Wedding Reception

"Jesse & Nikki Leonard"
Wedding Reception

Please be patient...video may take a few seconds to load.

Click Here To View The Wedding

• Location: New Birth Christian Ministries - Columbus, OH

• Date: Saturday November 11th, 2006

• Description: Jesse & Nikki Leonard's Wedding Reception
  
  
• Funny Moment: At 6 mins and 33 seconds (6:33) into the video, my Dad receives a phone call from "Brother Ed". Please note that when he takes this call, he's sitting at one of the front tables. You can clearly hear him yelling to "Brother Ed" over my mic, and the laughter!!! I couldn't believe he did that..... just watch!.
  
  
  
  To God Be The Glory
  
  

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2924701452989249816&hl=en

Click Here To View The Wedding

The Return

So this evening I went to see The Return. I only have one word for this crap: T E R R I B L E ! ! !

* The movie was so sloooooow going
* At NO time did I understand what was going on
( not even at the end)
* THE SCENES FROM THE PREVIEW ARE NOT EVEN IN THE MOVIE!!!!! ---- HELLO!!!!!

This was by far, one of the WORST films that I've seen all year. I would've asked for my money back, but I got in for free.... So all in all, it was a Waste of Time! 1/3 of the people in my theatre actually got up and left. Somebody should get slapped for this film...
HAHAHAHAHA
Usually I'd say, don't take my word for it, but this time... I really think you should. ;)

But of course, it's just my opinion.

Sorry Mom :(

I need to take this opportunity to apologize to my mother. Poor Mom was doing her best to raise me the healthiest that she knew how, but I allowed the devil...( yeah, that ol' serpent that tricked Eve into biting the apple ).... to lead me to abuse the good that was taking place. What am I referring to you ask? "Flintstones Complete Vitamins" of course!!! Those things were "dA bOmB dIgIty! - no doubt"

I remember every day Mom would bring my brother and over to the counter, she would reach into the cabinet and take out the white bottle with the red label that had a picture of Fred Fintstone on it. She would then proceed to give us the recommended dosage. Me, being the candy lover that I am, absolutely LOVED taking my "medication" as I called it. After a while I found out how to sneak an extra medicine pill when my Mom's back was turned. Not too much longer after that... I became.... an ADDICT!! ------ hahahahahaha

(If it hadn't been for the Lord on my side)
If I hadn't gotten delivered from those drugs (meaning: if my Mom hadn't stop buying them and giving them to us) then I mostly likely would still be addicted today. I probably would have like a 2 or 3 a day bottle addiction. Knowing how I like to eat a box of nerds, I can almost guarantee that I would open that flintstone bottle, cock my head back, and drink those "medicine pills" like Welch's grape juice!! .... hahah

So in a nutshell, Mom, if you're reading this (which I know you're not) then I want you to know that..... I'm Sorry..... Sorry Mom :(

Why Is It Always My Fault?

Today I have one question...................
"Why is it always my fault?"

Have you ever noticed how you're driving along the road just fine... obeying the speed limit.... cruisin' and listening to some music.... and then ALL OF A SUDDEN....... someone cuts you off, or hits you, or comes so close to hitting you that the screeching tread from their tires is almost imprinted on the fabric of your back seats.... now your heart is pounding.... you grip the steering wheel and say "Thank you Jesus for protecting me!".... you try to regain your breath, all the while wondering why someone would do that to you... AND THEN IT HAPPENS.... the driver of the other vehicle moves from behind you and gets into the lane next to you.... their foot is mashing down the gas and their speed is ever increasing.... however, they manage to stop just at the right time to get their windows level with yours.... they look over to the right, across their cup holders, over the seat, and they peer through their passenger side window.... then with your heart pounding, you turn to the left and peer out of your driver side window.... just then as your eyes meet.... they immediately lift their hands and arms (as if to say..... "why did YOU do that?").... but wait.... didn't' they just cut you off????..... then they actually verbally start saying it , followed by a few many choices words (which I won't repeat)... and then after fussing YOU out.... they speed off, just like they came.

In the words of the comedian Dane Cook, (not that I make a habit of quoting him....ever!)
"Even if it's not your fault.... the other person will still get out of their car like "OMG, look what you did!"..... and then my favorite line that they say is.....
"Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80 mph???
WHY DID YOU STOP AT A RED LIGHT AND LET ME HIT YOU DOING 80 mph?
WHY DID YOU STOP AT A RED LIGHT AND LET ME HIT YOU DOING 80 mph!!!!!!!!?

....Now tell me, does that make any sense?
NOPE!
I can't tell you how often this happens to me...
I think if people just laid off the crack!!! we'd all be alright!... lol

The Departed

Well tonight, I treated myself to a movie.... "The Departed" to be exact. This movie is a MUST SEE. It had my complete, undivided attention the entire time. Each minute that goes by the plot thickness more and more and gets deeper..... and deeper..... and even deeper some more.... and before you know it, 2 hours and 29 mins has gone by without you even realizing it.

Trust me, this is a great movie.... but like Lavar Burton used to say on Reading Rainbow... "You don't have to take my word for it" ........
GO OUT AND SEE THIS TODAY ! ! !

My Name Is John Daker

In an effort to redeem myself from my horrific singing accident (lol) I've included one of my personal singing video footage favorites....

"My Name Is John Daker"

JayRolla Is Fixed!!!

Finally, after many weeks of looking over my shoulder to switch lanes.... JayRolla has her passenger-side mirror back
Yay!!!!

"Now Unto Him" - Eph 3:20

---

"Now Unto Him"
Ephesians 3:20


Please be patient...video may take a few seconds to load.

• Location: New Birth Christian Ministries - Columbus, OH

• Date: Sunday November 12th, 2006

• Description: While getting dressed on Saturday for my brother's wedding, Pastor Moore of New Birth Christian Ministries "gently commanded" me to preach on Sunday at his 11:30am service. Watch intently as God challenges us to get excited about HIM. I pray that you are blessed!
  
  
  
  To God Be The Glory
  
  

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8689592284544788252&hl=en

My Brother's Wedding

"Jesse & Nikki Leonard"
Wedding

Please be patient...video may take a few seconds to load.

* Please note that this is not the official DVD and the video skips periodically

Click Here To View The Wedding Reception

• Location: New Birth Christian Ministries - Columbus, OH

• Date: Saturday November 11th, 2006

• Description: Jesse & Nikki Leonard Unite in Holy Matrimony!!!!
  
  
  
  To God Be The Glory
  
  

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1517351353349228224&q=Jesse+and+Nikki&hl=en

Click Here To View The Wedding Reception

New Jersey Drive - Part III - "Angelic Host Sing"

Part III - "Angelic Host Sing"

... (continued from Part II - "The Arrival")

I almost forgot.... one of the most amazing things happened!
While in worship unto God, my hands lifted, eyes closed, tears slowly dripping down..... the song had just ended and Giselle was beckoning us to worship the Lord. I could hear the wailing of the congregation, I heard the melodic vocals of worship from the choir, I even heard the string sounding instrument being held by the keyboard player.... but... there was something else.... in between the fabric of our worship. In between the notes, in between the cries, I heard a distinct sound. The best way I can describe it is like this.... it was like a choir of Angels seating in an overflow section right off to the right and left of the front of the stage. And they were singing... almost holding a loud one note cry out to God! Wheeew... this is only the second time in my entire life that I've heard this particular sound. The sound is very distinct and unique.



The first time I heard it was a few years back at the Worship Leaders Institute in Maryland. Everyone had assembled themselves together and we were worshipping God. The intensity of the worship got so high, to a level that I just knew would be impossible to surpass. But it was then that one of the musicians blew a Ram's Horn. And at that moment, it was if a choir of Angels seated in a overflow seating choir loft level with the top of the ceiling - began screaming... well they weren't screaming, but it was sooooo loud! Like a RUWA praise. I couldn't contain myself and I took off running...lol.



But yes, this was exactly the same sound. It wasn't as strong as before but I could definitely hear it.... I heard it, in between the music, in between Giselle, in between the choir, in between the congregation..... I heard it... splendidly between the stitching of the very fabric of our worship!
I heard Angelic Host Sing.

To be continued...............

New Jersey Drive - Part II - "The Arrival"

Part II - "The Arrival"

....(continued from Part I - "Take Off")

Finally I made it, I'm here! at the Love of Jesus in Paterson, NJ. (The Arrival was a refreshing feeling but wheeew, that was a long trip, where's the Men's room?...lol)
First impression..... WOW, yall have elevators? and an elevator operator? WHOA!!! Yes, this church has so many levels to it that it has an elevator. One of those old school ones with an operator, a sliding door, a black folding gate, and a locomotive train like gear shifter extending up from the floor... all in all, really kool!

As I slowly neared the correct floor (I believe it was three???) I could hear G warming up the room with Praises to God! HALLELUJAH!!! Once I came in I sat with her best friend, Cherisse. And the Praise & Worship continued. What an experience. It's one thing to lead Praise & Worship like I do, but it's such a sweetness to be able to minister unto the Lord right from the congregation without having to worry about leading, giving cues, reminding people of parts, audio levels, etc. ahhhhhhhhh yesssss. And the best part is, I'm watching my friend usher us to the pathway to enter into the Hollies of Hollies!!!! Wheew, I could talk about Worship all day long sooooo... moving right along...

Here was the plan. G told me that they would have service until about 6 and then we would eat, and then I would leave by 8pm so I could arrive home by midnight. Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, Pastor J didn't even get up until 6pm.... lol. The contents of his message: "Love Big", "Dream Big", "Live Big" (I think that's the correct order... I'm doing it from memory). After the sermon he began to agree with people at the altar that God would bless and multiply their offering, and for some of the people, he began to Prophetically speak in their lives.

Now during the course of his sermon I felt a weird notion in my spirit. I felt like I knew that something was going to happen to me on my journey home. Something bad. Something horrible. Something horrifically super duper fragilistic terrifyingly bad. It was like I kept seeing me involved in a horrific car accident. Like I kept seeing my car spinning and flipping over off of a bridge or some kind of overpass. Well at first I kept pushing it aside thinking that my brain was playing tricks on me.... but it wouldn't leave, I couldn't shake it. So, I decided that I wanted to go to the altar so God, through Pastor J, could tell me that "Yes, you will go through X, Y, & Z, BUT I AM WITH YOU!"... in the midst of it all, I just wanted that reassurance from God that he was there, and he would always be! Well, I didn't go up because I didn't have any money on me and before I could borrow some, it was 8 O'clock :( Time to gooooooo!

So, we went downstairs and ate..... I quickly forgot all about that inner notion I was having. By the time I finished eating it was going on 9 O'clock... YIKES!!! Now it's time to Land back in Maryland. I've got to get up at 6am for church!!!

To be continued........................

New Jersey Drive - Part I - "Take Off"

Part I - "Take Off"

Although I had previously decided not to go, at 3:00am this morning, everything inside of me screamed "Goooooooo.... and make that drive to New Jersey!"

For those of you who don't know, Giselle, one of my best friends, lives in New Jersey. Being a P.K. (Preacha Kid) like myself, she invited me to her Church's 10th year Anniversary in Paterson, NJ.

Well Mapquest informed me that it was a 4 HOUR 14 MINUTE trip... Wheeeeew! So I muscled up and set sail on the Take Off. The trip was fantastic! I wasn't sleepy at all and I maintained my cruisin' speed of 80-85 (shhhhhhhhh.... don't tell Jesus) [Actually, there is hardly ever a good reason to break the speed limit, but today, I wanted to be sitting right there in the pew as G started the service with Praise & Worship!] With that being said, I only ran into two major problems during the Take Off.

#1) The highway workers had the exit ramp to Interstate 83 closed... huh?????? well where was I supposed to go. No signs, no detours, no directions, just a mad house of confused highway travelers.... Thank God that I'm somewhat smart and I was able to figure out a way to get onto it.

#2) G got me lost :(.... she told me that when I got off of Interstate, I was going to come around "a bend"... what the heck?? well, I never found the bend but after driving frantically for a few minutes, I did find a New Jersey Citizen who happily pointed me to the main strip that led to MLK Blvd.

Finally I'm here, I made it!

To be continued..........................................

LOST Again

Well, I have finally "Extended my Experience" resulting in me being LOST Again! Tonight I picked up Season 2 from a good friend, thanks Maestro!
The numbers are finally taking us down the rabbit hole and I can't wait to see what happens next.....
4 8 15 16 23 42

Church Vernacular

I've been in church ALL my life, and it's true.... Christians have their own Vernacular, and depending on what church you go to, they also have little custom phrases that they say quite frequently.

Today I want to talk about three categories.
1.) Everyday Church Lingo - what we say during the day.
2.) When The Preacha Is Preachin' Lingo - what we say while the preacha is preachin.
3.) Hmmmm..... The Bible Doesn't Exactly Quite Say That - the concepts might be true, but they are clearly not direct quotes from the bible.

My brain is frozen right now so by no means is my list exhaustive sooooo....
PLEASE POST COMMENTS OF YOUR OWN FAMILIAR LINGO EXPERIENCES!!!!

(* NOTE: The list below was not solely created by me, but by everyone who reads this blog and post and/or emails me their comments... thanks everybody!)

1. Everyday Church Lingo
• Blessed by the best
• Blessed and highly favored
• Saved, sanctified, and filled with the holy ghost, and a mighty burning fire
• Fire baptized
• Won't he make a way, somehow
• In between blessings (hahaha)
• God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good (classic)
• He may not come when ya want him, but he's always on time
• The Anointment (hahaha)
• .....can't complain
• How you doing? "I'm Pressin..."
• There answer for EVERYTHING IS... "Bless God!"
• He'll Make A Way
• I'm blessed and I can't be cursed
  
2. When The Preacha Is Preachin Lingo
• Preach, Preacha!
• Oh yeah!
• You're in the book
• That's what the word says
• You tell 'em Pastor (hahaha)
• "Ouch!"
• You betta preach that thang JayAre
• Don't hurt 'em Pastor
• Take ya time
• You talkin' right!!!
• Bless em Lord!
• Amen....!
• Go head, go head, go head!
• It's hot but it's right!
• You right about about it!
• Help us lord...
• "Weeeell..." lol!
• Come on Pastor!
• Uhhh-mmm
• Holler-lu-yah
• "gljkjrt05tgdjkdf" <---- That's tongues
• "Shandah!" <---- That's tongues too! lol...
• Yesssssss!
• Say So...! ( I don't know how I missed this one, I actually say that!... hahaha)
  
3. Hmmmm..... The Bible Doesn't Exactly Quite Say That
• God helps those who help themselves
• What verse is that?
• If we could help ourselves, why did Jesus come and die?
  
• Pride cometh before fall
• Well, yes, but a direct quote... NO. The verse actually says
  Pro 16:18 - "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."
• The book of Psalms, Matthews, Revelations, etc.
  
• Ummm... why are we putting an "s" on the end of these books?
• "Now unto him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, etc..."
• hmmm.... this is a quote from Eph 3:20.... but where did the "ly" on exceeding come from??? - hahahaha
• Money is the root of all evil
• ...hahaha! It's not money it's the LOVE of money!
• Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
• WHAT! NUH-UH!
• Render your heart and not your garments
• ...lol!
  

* Well my brain has shutdown..... so please post some of the phrases that you hear all the time and then I'll add them to the lists above!

Thanks.
~JayAre

I Love Kickin' It!

I finally decided to
get rid of my
100th Pee-Mobile
MDA Phone
Replacement!
(that phone sucks!!!)

I'm BACK on the sideKick II

Y?

'Cause I Love Kickin' It !!!!!

BURRITOWEEN

Well, I don't celebrate Halloween, so my friend and I went to see the movie "Catch of Fire".... (it reminded me of Hotel Ruwanda).... anyway, after the movie we decided to grab a bite to eat at Chipotle. Not to far from the font door we noticed about $15 worth of Aluminum Foil just laying on the ground. Once inside, one of the customers (dressed in foil) told us that if we dress like a burrito, then we'll get a FREE one. So of course, we rushed back outside and grabbed a whole sheet of foil and began to wrap ourselves. Twist,... turn... wrap,... wrap, ....done! Our mugshots are below.

"What Would You Do For A Free Burrito?"
BURRITOWEEN

Free Burritos For Everyone!

It's Finally Over!

Today marks the end.

Today marks the end of a month.

Today marks the end of a month in which I lost so much.

Today marks the end of a month in which I lost so much and yet, also gained so much.

Today marks the end of a month in which I lost so much and yet, also gained so much. Five weeks long.

Today marks the end of a month in which I lost so much and yet, also gained so much. Five weeks long. Never ending.

Today marks the end of a month in which I lost so much and yet, also gained so much. Five weeks long. Never ending. Now, It's Finally Over!

SAW III

So I went to see the late night sneak preview of SAW III tonight. Let me first say that I've been dying to see this one. I thought it was so kool how they tied the first and second movie together and so, I couldn't wait to see this third one.
However, in my opinion, it was a total let down! :( Don't get me wrong, the torture was still sick, perverted, and crucial, but...... but..... after watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre "The Beginning" twice, this movie seemed like a rerun of a dry Veggie Tales episode. All in all, I'm so glad that I didn't have to pay for this!

My recommendations:
* Lower Your Standard Of Expectations
* Go & See It For Yourself

I Lash

Last week I felt something in my eye... It hurt sooooooooo bad but every time I looked in to see what it was..... I saw nothing. Now as long as I didn't touch or rub my eye, I was fine. Well, this morning I was confronted with the item that has been buffeting my poor eyeball.... It was my very own I-LASH.

Those who've seen me in person know that I have extremely long eyelashes, and they fall out all of the time. Well this morning, when the pain hit my eye again, I told myself; "I've got to get this out". So after minutes of struggling, sweating, and grinding my teeth.... I lifted my eye lid for one last time of hope.... and..... there it was..... laying right on my pupil, as long as a noodle strand of Angel Hair pasta, taunting me, hissing at me like a snake, color - fully black. So, without thinking, I took my pointer finger and went in after it.... the next sounds out of my mouth were high pitch shrieks of terror as acid pain pierced my eyeball and tears started flowing. Why, you ask?.... Well, I had forgotten that I just greased my scalp with hair grease and I was just about to wash it off my hands when I felt that pain in my eye (which started this whole process)........ So, I wised up, grabbed a tissue, and ended the misery!

LOST & Hangin'

Well those of you who know me and have been talking to me this week know that I've taken quite an interest in the TV show series called "LOST". Since the show always aired while I was in church, my friend let me borrow their co-worker's DVD set of the first season (pictured above). Tonight I finished watching the last disk....Disk 6... Hallelujah to the Lamb...... it was, and is gReAt!~

This first season was spectacular for so many reasons. It played more like a movie than a tv show. The soundtrack was off the hook! The characters were great, their stories were even greater, and the combination of all of that added with the circumstances, crazy environment, and personalities of the others mixing together...... Just Simply Fabulous!!! Whoever created this show must have the Holy Ghost!!! Halleluyeerrrrrr.

But as any good finale production does.... it left me Hangin'..... I was sooooo mad because I don't have the second season yet. In fact, let me tell you exactly how I felt.
Do you remember the movie "The Fugitive" with Harrison Ford, where he kept saying "I didn't kill my wife"??? Remember when everyone was chasing him through that sewer tunnel all the way to the end of it, then he came right up on the edge (which had a tremendously long drop down to the rushing water below).... remember feeling that adrenalin, that hopelessness, that shrieking terror in his eyes ..................
Well what I felt tonight was nothing like that!......SIKE.. lol (oops, I mean hahahahaha) Anyway, they left me Hangin' so now I'm gonna be forced to go buy the 2nd season.

Unfortunately I can only give this show 2 thumbs up, because that's all I have..... but best believe, I'm raising my 2 big toes also!

Is It Really That Funny?

lol

Okay, so if you've used the Internet for any given period of time chances are you've either typed this, or are guilty of reading someone else type it to you. What am I talking about?..... [ lol ]. lol is one of the many internet-shorthand-ebonic-vernacular-idioms that our "pseudo techie" generation abuses on a daily basis. In fact, some AOL/Yahoo/Gmail/ICQ/ and MSN junkies are so addicted that they've been known to type it ever chance they get, which for some means every other line.

So what in tarnashion does lol mean anyway??? - Laugh Out Loud
But people, people, people... who laughs that much and Is It Really That Funny?

------------------------------------------------------------------
Example convo:
Adam: Hey Eve, what ya' up to? lol
Eve: 'bout to take lunch, lol I brought an apple w/me..... lol ;)
Eve: what are u doing?
Adam: lol ...an apple :-D, I just named me a "billygoat"
Eve: lol ....ROFL...LMBO...a billy who??? hahaha :)) lololololololol
Adam: lol
Adam: lol
Adam: lol .. hahahahahaha
Eve: ur silly.... lol
------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, I wonder..... are we really actually cocking our heads back, opening our mouths and laughing out loud, are we really rolling on the floor laughing, or is it all just in our heads? Can you imagine how funny it would look if we actually did all of the things that we typed ;) Think about it, you're sitting next to your co-worker whose supposed to be on the computer "doing work", the room is silent, then all of a sudden they stops typing, cocks their head back, and start laughing out loud.....then they instantly stop laughing and start typing again.... they repeat this entire process for well over an hour until they suddenly stop typing and start rolling on the floor laughing... the boss walks by, and then they get fired! HAHAHAHAHAHA... lol lol

Anyway, I'm not complaining, just wondering if you're guilty of lying too.... wOw, that sounds harsh doesn't it?.... how about we call it fibbing.... 'cuz remember, we are laughing out loud right?....... just in our heads... lol.....lol......lol......hahahaha.......... lol.

Oh, and yes..... Is It Really That Funny?......... Y E S ! ! ! !

Self Reminder

The Sun Is Still Shining!

No One Understands :(

No one seems to understand what I'm trying to relay to them.
I know I'm not crazy!
Just need to talk to someone who understands.
Someone who really understands.

My Poems

When I feel really emotional

I pen my thoughts in a rhyme

Poetically worded

And rhythmically timed

I camouflage with subjects

"Steps to make a flower grow"

So that the hidden truth that floats beneath

You'll probably never know

And that right there is okay with me

As long as I can get my release

I write my thoughts just to clear my chest

And then I can rest at peace

I Must Stop!

I can't stop
But I really wish I could
I wish I could stop
'cuz I'm pretty sure that you would
I know I can't stop
Because I tried already
But this pain is deep
And Oh-So heavy

Why don't I stop
I ask myself why
When I'm not stopping
That's usually when I cry
You'd want me to stop
Now that, I'm pretty certain
You'd tell me to close the window
And pull down the curtain

Lord help me to stop
It's eatin' at my heart
Lord I wanna stop
It's slowly rippin me apart
Lord just make me stop
My strength is all gone
Can't fight this fight
Can't sing this song

Stopping is the issue
As I'm sure you've heard
But I must in order
To keep moving forward.

I Must Stop!

~The thoughts of Brotha Jay~

You Want Me?

Lord,

Are you sure that you want me?.... Well of course you're sure because you're God. But I'm damaged goods!!! I'm soooo imperfect, so many flaws. There are so many wrong descions that I've made. So many wrong turns. So many mistakes..... oh so many! I don't need a scripture to tell me that even the best that I have to offer is still as filthy rags in your sight....I Know! It just blows my mind that despite me, you would still choose to use me as a mouthpiece to declare your glory, sing your praises, and lead others to know you on a personal level. How in the world could I ever take credit for my gifts, talents, and accomplishments? Everything I have and ALL that I am is because of you. I'm so glad that your Word tells me in 2nd Timothy Chapter 2 that even when I'm faithless - you STILL REMAIN FAITHFUL!! Wow, who wouldn't serve a God like that!

I Love You,
~Jay

"The Sun Always Shines....."

This past Sunday was nothing less than cRaZy special.
It started off being like a normal Sunday except these
following events transpired.......
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


It was negative 2,000 degrees outside.
I HATE THE COLD.
The church van wouldn't start, so for a whole hour...
... I tried jumping it.
Finally, the motor turned over!
But my fingers would've broke like icicles if
someone would've given me a high five.



Church was great and now I'm ready to
go home and sleep!




Well, after I got home I realized that I had to
turn right back around and go back down
because we had a Men's meeting.
So..I leave my house...
Once I make it over to the house with the
Brethren in it they had started watching a video
called something like "Making a Man".
It's a pretty old school series, but the
teacher is on point.
After the movie, Pastor asked us to talk about
what we got out of the video lesson.
One of my points was this: The man said that...
"The Sun Is Always Shining Above The Clouds"
For some reason that was one of the most
profound things I've ever heard. And he urged
us to thank God, even in the middle of a storm,
because the Sun is still shinning just as bright,
above the clouds.
H A L L E L U J A H ! ! ! !



......... Well the meeting is over and I'm rejoicing
and I'm tired and ready to go home and go to sleep,
and this is what I come outside to....
Someone has hit my car and ran off,
knocking my passenger side power mirror off.
CRAP~
It's cold outside.....brrrrrrr


It also looks as if they scratched up the black
car that was next to me too.


Now, look how far away from the line I am.
Does that make any sense????????


But I instantly kept my kool, why??
because the sun is still shinning bright!
So, get this.. the little kids that were playing
in the neighborhood (that were outside playing
catch when I first arrived) ran over to me.
They said they saw it happen.
"Some guy hit your car and then sped off...
Do you want his license plate number?"
I was like, you have his license plate number?
What kind of little kids are these....
Too much CSI, and COPS for them..
hahahaha
However, I praise God for them.
Sure enough, they had wrote the number down
on a napkin.



So I called the police and gave them the
license plate number (which was all they needed
to track down the culprit).


Officer Smith did a great job!
And now he's giving me all of the info I need to
get this matter resolved.


Poor JayRolla......
I started to change her name from JayRolla to
"Nemo" because it looks like she has a little
itty bitty fin now. :)

My day started in the cold with car problems,
and ended in the cold with car problems.
Ohhhhhh, what a day..... what a day!

Lesson Learned: No matter how bad the situation....... remember that "The Sun Is Always Shining Above The Clouds"

Pigeon Milk???

So, I'm flippin through the channels and I thought I heard this bamma tell Flav that he wanted a "Carton of Pigeon Milk"?????. Please tell me that I misheard him...plzzzzzzzz.... Who goes on TV and asks for Pigeon anything... and not just a sip, or a glass.... but a whole freaking carton of it......

All together now...1....2....3..Y.U.C.K.

As Real As They Come!

I'm as simple, real, and transparent as they come....
Why??..... Because.... I have:
* nothing to hide,
* nothing to fake,
* nothing to prove,
* nothing to loose,
* and one thing to explain: The Plan of Salvation!

The Chronicles of Cellular Horror Stories

"The Beginning"

Have you ever dropped your phone in the toilet? Had it run over by a school bus? Smashed it in your car door?.............
Well I want your story!!! Send it to me TODAY!!!
I've found that no two stories are alike. Even if someone you know has a story that sounds similar to yours, chances are, there are a lot of differences, and so, I STILL WANT IT!

In honor of my 50th blog post I've decided to start an ongoing series about the unforgettable woes of our past cell phone experiences. I'm giving everyone the opportunity to explain one, two, or a few of their worst & funniest cell phone horror stories. All you have to do is send them to me through the comment section (below) of this post :) I'm calling it, "The Chronicles of Cellular Horror Stories"... Muahahahaha. Muahahaha. Muahahaha..(~cough~) (~cough~).... Muahahaha.....lol


Wait Wait Wait.... I Still Don't Get It... Huh...
How Does This Work???

Who: Those of us who've had frightening things happen to our cell phones.
What: Short cell phone horror stories
When: Starting Today! Send me your story.
Why: For entertainment, information, and laughter.
How: Click the link at the bottom that says "Comments" and write me your story there.

Looking ahead: Episode One - comes from the Library of Ubenstein! (my brother)

Congratulations On 100 Posts!!!

This week I designed a digital picture to commemorate GisNik's 100th Blog Post.

Gis,
From everyone here at "Step Into The Wold of Brother Jay", we congratulate you and look forward to 100 more entertaining, funny, and informative write-ups.
God Bless.

(Click Photo for Hi-Res version)

I'd like to thank the Academy and......Jay-Are for my...wait...I have to make up a word to describe that picture above...thank you for my macadoshouslyantifical magazine cover to commemorate my 100th entry. You're a genius dude and AREGIS is gonna take over the world! (You see I came up with a good name for our future collaborations!)"

R E L E A S E . . . M E ! ! !

My latest, can be summed up by Israel's song, "No Limits"

---

I'm not a man, I cannot lie. I know the plans for your life, I'm asking you to dream again, believe again and take the limits off of me.

No I'm not a man, I cannot lie. I know the plans I have for you they're my design, so I'm asking you just to hope again and trust again and take the limits off of me.

All I'm asking is take the limits off, take the limits off, release me to accomplish what I promised you, take the limits off me, take the limits off release me release me

No limits
No boundaries
I see increase all around me
Stretch forth
Break forth release me
Enlarge my territory

Take the limits off take the limits off release me release me

Jet Li's "Fearless"

Well it's movie review time again.
So my sister and I went to check out Jet Li's new movie... "Fearless".

The fight scenes were wonderful. One thing I might recommend is that you don't go to the 10:30 pm show when you are already half asleep because........ you'll fall asleep in the theatre. Unfortunately I slept through the entire middle portion of the movie. However using instinctual context clues, I was able to piece it all together.

My recommendation: Go & See It For Yourself!

Adventure Park USA

After a very long week at work, tonight I stopped to catch a breath of fun, games, laughter, and.... oh yeah, air! Where did all of this go down? .... Adventure Park USA. Only minutes from home and yet tonight was my first appearance. I was invited by an old friend to tag along with her church's young adult group. Not only was it good to catch up with her again but I got a chance to meet her Pastor. Come to find out, he used to be the youth Pastor for one of my old Pastors.... (tongue twister huh). Anyway, he started in Ministry when he was young. He currently leads Praise & Worship (before he preaches) AND he's a web developer. WOW, he sounds like me. In fact he's just the person I've been wanting to meet. He developed and maintains the entire DELMARVA DC Church of God website. How kool is that! What a fun person to be around. Anywho..... back to my adventure.

All in all, there were alot of little cool things to do, especially if you're a kid at heart. I bought $20 worth of credits and I didn't even get a chance to use them all.....Next Time!

So.... where did I start?

Putt Putt. Somehow they convinced me to play in the cold, wet, soggy, brisk, rain.... arrrgghhhh. So, of course I didn't win. (*wink*) In that cold, 18 holes felt like 38! Although I felt a little stupid for being out there in the cold, there was another group of people playing paintball. WOW....hmmmm. Just a little too cold for Brotha Jay to be getting shot at on purpose, ya know!

Then it was off to climb some walls!
It took me a sec to get my footing because the soles of my shoes were soaked from our casual Tiger Woods competition in the blundering cold soggy fake marshy blah blah blah...grass. hahaha.

Now, the other side!
The best part was letting go and falling to the ground. Once I was finished, the attendant took my gear off and smiled. Ut-Oh, I thought..... He forgot to swipe my Adventure Park credit card. Now I can lie to you and say that the devil didn't tempt me to just walk away and save those 40 credits for laser tag but c'mon.... I'm saved and I'm at a Christian Event.. WWJD? Knowing what he would do wasn't the problem, but I pulled together and DWJD (Did What Jesus Did). I told the truth. He was shocked that I even told him that he forgot to charge me. So I thought maybe he wouldn't....... but S.W.I.P.E....yup, he swiped it and thanked me.. hahaha... But it seemed like my card never ran out after that. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!

Next I kinda setup residence in front of the Skeeball machine :) Who knew that this game was so addictive. I tell ya, once you hit a few 50's and then a couple 100's you just keeping swipin' and swipin'. Poor kids, I had a line of little ones behind me just patiently waiting. I tried to convince myself that they were there to admire my flawless ball throwing form but I could tell by the look on their faces and the Adventure Park Credit Cards in their hands that they wanted to play also :-D

So, I played some other games, and won a army hat (along with some other goodies). I saw a kool bowling pin set (60 Credits) that I wanted to get for a little special guy of mine... but once I got up there I was embarrassed to find out that there was a small handwritten '3' directly before the 60 Credits. So.......... I ended up being 300 credits short. HAHAHAHAHA. Imagine how goofy I looked, with the hat and all, trying to get a HUGE discount. It wasn't my fault. It was a typo on the sign.

.... welp... the Chilinnnnnes are gone. Back to the game that made my arm so tired I had trouble keeping it lifted up on the steering wheel when I drove home (hehehe).
I did pretty good.

Ahhhhhhhhh.....
"After a very long week at work, tonight I stopped to catch a breath of fun, games, laughter, and.... oh yeah, air! Where did all of this go down? .... Adventure Park USA. Only minutes from home and yet tonight was my first appearance"